There's a Fly in my Banana Muffin

There's a fly in my banana muffin

and damp grass on the backs of my calves.

And I am the picture of beautiful youth

living for the simplicity of spring and the sun on my skin.

In my dress cut from one sheath of cloth

and pen and pages to record more about here, and now, than anything else.

Alone--and sweaty and dirty but pretty, 

But not like other girls.

Indifferent not like other girls.

Unashamed not like other girls.

There's a cloud in front of my sun

and wind blowing my skirt up to my calves.

And I am the picture of foolish youth

living like she can play with her age when she can barely look her real one.

On my beach towel on the yard like it's summer- it's not.

Alone--and sweaty and dirty--not pretty--

because now my hair is tangled and in my face

Not like other girls.

Dry not like other girls.

There's a rainstorm pouring outside my house

and I barely made it in, sticky and moist and itchy

Out of the shape of my skin out of touch with myself.

Never grew positive

like other girls.

Never grew brazen

like other girls.

Never became tall tan cold judgmental easy just like other girls.

This Book Will Change Your Life

I've never thought of Kierkegaard as applicable to my life.  But I honestly wish I had read his essay "Love Builds Up" two weeks ago.  If I had, I could've saved a really special relationship that ended prematurely.  And that's how it goes.

But truthfully, read this if you're a skeptic, lonely, or have been jaded one too many times.  This book will change your life.

Oak Street Cafe and the Tree of Life

I spent a lovely Saturday with the boy doing what we love to do best--eating, reading, and shopping.  We first had a delicious (huge portioned) breakfast at the Oak Street Cafe, an incredibly charming restaurant that screamed, "I'm traditional--know me; love me!" 

In addition to quaint green-checked tablecloths, Oak Street Cafe features local artwork and a pianist who plunks away at "Georgia on my Mind" and "Eleanor Rigby."

 

After breakfast, we found an adorable used book store on Oak Street, one of the first I've ever found that has a satisfying selection of near-perfect condition, fairly priced used books. I bought Rosemary's Baby, which I've been searching for since the Spring, and finished it in one day.  Anna Karenina had to take the backseat for 12 hours, but she's back on my mind now!  Also, since my subscription to the New Yorker recently expired, my wonderful boyfriend brought me his copy!

Hellooooo Bloggers!!

I'm sorry for the past three months.  Personal issues and a complete change in lifestyle have made me reconsider blogging as my "thing."  But I'm ready to dive into it again and give it another shot!  Look for updates soon--I'm getting back into writing as my life settles down, and there's always something interesting going on at Tulane!

Abroad

Hello! I am in Bogota, Colombia for the next three weeks!
Hopefully I'll be making some good blog posts soon! Have a great holiday!

looks: French Lunch

For lunch with a dear friend at the cutest French restaurant in Sandy Springs, La Petite Maison, I wore this Zara dress I bought just a few days ago. Sadly, I missed their big 50% off sale by a DAY (a day!!) and didn't have the energy to go back and search for the goods. Oh well! I still walked away with this cross-backed sundress with the most irresistable flower pattern and scalloped hem!

What do you think?

Looks: Island and Adventures with Books

Dress: Surf Shop; Bandeau: Target

Hello again!  Hawaii was beautiful and carefree--I'm in love.  Here I am at the grand canyon (the car ride made me verrryy sick---steep and winds all the way up the mountain!) squinting in the sun. I bought this dress at a surf shop but am  a little frustrated that one side is a little looser than the other. I can't quite figure out why.

While in Hawaii, I read John Updike's Rabbit, Run and the first half of Rabbit Redux.  Unfortunately, a freak wave washed up on my beach mat, bag, and towel, submerging the book and making it swell to twice its size! I did, however, compose a poem addressing my mixed feelings towards Updike, which I wll be sharing soon.

Bye!

ALOHA!

Hello from Hawaii! Kauai Island is so beautiful that I will have MANY photos (hopefully!) when I get home next week! I'll post then! MAHALO for stopping by! haha that's all the hawaiian I know for now, but we'll see soon!

Looks: Orange Juice + a Poem

I wore an orange dress to have lunch with a friend at Cafe Intermezzo, lovingly referred to as Cafe, an adorable litle place near my home. I should've taken pictures of it there--next time, I will!

And here is a poem I wrote on a steering wheel:

Eighteen and a lost woman

The smell of almonds, coffee, and perfume

Smell of almonds--

"Just like if I died from cyanide,"

"What a delicious way to be found."

Looks: Grad Parties pt. II

Skirt worn as Dress: American Apparel; Bag: thrifted

Here's a f un photo of me stuffing my face with Italian Ice! Grad Parties = tons of food we shouldn't be eating in such quantities!

Dress: Brazil; Not shown--Shoes: Soda Boutique, Roswell

Now that I've adequately flaunted my narcissism (just kidding!), that brings us to the end of grad party season!! I'm exhausted--so glad they're over! Towards the end I just stopped going :)

Writing

Another purpose of this blog is to have an outlet for my writing. It needs a home other than my Moleskine (which I love) and a place to gradually come out in the world. So, here is my first poem to be published on the Web besides TeenInk and the like. It's brutally heartbreaking and honest and, hopefully, universal.

Just Like You

Gratulojn- you've won.

You found the golden key.

That house in the clouds you've so often

wrinkled your brow and wondered--

how?

She wears pearls and scarves

and is a delight to see

at the store, to buy tea, to talk.

She is a mysterious woman;

she returns to him each night

in her house on the clouds.

You never see him,

but you hear he loves her.

Mysterious man

now always in his house

creating something? Disappeared

three years ago.

Delicate people.

Sheltered from the world.

So pure, so good. So

desirable.

With your open life

your flawed life

they know what you don't know

the secret of love, you're sure

and now you can find out.

Voyeuristic curiosity.

The first witness

to unearthly love

so beautiful, they will be so beautiful.

Trembling you reach

the house on the clouds with its door

just like yours.

ring--no!

You want to see first. And greed

overcomes you.

Push open, empty space

sparkling, fresh, perfect-

but no.

Floorboards scratches

broken glass

open drawers scattered heels

wine-stained walls--

no.

Chaos bitter Chaos

you. frantically. scan. heart beating

this isn't right.

And there she is, running from a room

satin robe open, thin chemise

(you hear she writes naked, for both)

face creased, flushed, painful.

She is scared; she is caught

she pleads and presses your hands,

it's not like this

Oh Please I swear it's not like this.

He

in the corner behind his camera

still

eyes open shoulders rolled

doesn't move.

Breathes. calmly/

no expression

and he is broken as your picture of perfection,

And you

can not longer breathe

on the floor

eyelids close sleepy haze

thick air can't breathe no air

not like this

not like this oh please not like this.

Then what is there?

In the clouds they turn to gray

lightning brilliant but in the dark

she looks thin.

Pathetic and half alive

dying

Just like you.

Looks: Tea Party

Jumper: Cherry Bomb; Skirt: Zara; Necklace: gift; Shoes: Gianni Bini

For a friend's late 18th birthday, she held an all-girls tea party at her home.  Adorable! I admit that I intended to wear a much more tea party-ish dress, but my best friend insisted on re-dressing me in my own clothes right before walking out the door. This is how I wound up!  

Looks: Grad Parties

Dress: Private Gallery; Headband: F21

I'm not sure about your high school, but when my senior year is coming to a close, it seems that nearly every two or three people start having graduation parties!  They're usually daytime picnics or open houses and a chance for all the girls to whip out their sundresses and summer clothes!  Once I dig up all the pictures of my outfit, I'll post them!

Tomorrow I'm excited to start The Intellectual Devotional. It's a day-by-day lesson series of tiny bits of history, culture, and science.  The cover advertises,  "Roam Confidently with the Cultured Class," which got me thinking about the word 'cultured.'  In the 1700s, Cultured was nobility that included the likes of Madame de Pompadour who were innovative in thought of philosophy and politics. But what does the word entail today?  When we hear "cultured," we think rich and upper class. But who is rich?  I mean, particularly rich?  Paris Hilton? Brit? Miley Cyrus?  Okay, there's Warren Buffett and Bill Gates..seemingly on the other end of the spectrum.  We have Hollywood celebrities and bigwigs of the technology industry.  But are they cultured in the sense of the word we used to have?  Do they know about Aristotle and the Phoenician Sailors? 

This book implies that to be cultured, you must be informed in the topics of Beethoven, The Ozone Layer, and and Debussy.  But do we who read this book strive to become part of the REAL cultured class of the world or a fantasy that was lost a hundred years ago? 

Discuss.  

Graduation Day

What better way to begin this chapter of my adult life than begin writing real chapters?  Verbosity to Me will begin during my summer before college and be about fashion, writing, music, and the like.  Enjoy!